[06 Jan 2006|10:45pm] [ mood | numb ] [ music | Phantom Regiment- Harmnic Journey (DCI 2003) ] WOOOOO!!!! I haven't updated in a million years! I'm over Chris's house and everyone's rather playing pool or watching Star Wars. Life has been stressful. but that's senior year for you. I'm going to miss it I must say. I need help... [ fireflys ]

[12 Sep 2005|03:36pm] [ mood | moody ] Damn it.  Why was I ever so excited for school to start?  I mean honestly... what the hell was I thinking?! So, yea.. school sucks.  Well, I shouldn't really say it sucks... It's just that, it isn't really I that good.  I think it's because I got myself really excited about senior thinking, "OMG! Every second is just going to be oozing with fun!"  Well, I thought wrong.  I do still need to get into college. Hmm.. My doggy is doing better.  His tests for his pancreas thing and the other gastro-something came back fine.  But,  the x-rays he had done could mean that there is something blocking the way for his food to get through, or there could be a tumor.  But he seems fine, so everyone just pray that he is ok!!! First football game and homeshow this weekend! :  )  Definitely excited for thsoe two things.  It's like all coming to an end now.  Crazy! Hmmm.... Yea. I have to work tonight.  I hate working.  But then again I have no money.  So, I really just wish I was naturally rich. High school is going to suck this year, I know it is.  Fuck. I'm peacin' out.  Lataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. [ fireflys ]

[09 Sep 2005|08:03pm] [ mood | crushed ] I can't even start to explain how stressful this past week has been.  My anxiety level hasn't been this high since I was sick my sophomore year.  And everything that I'm told just seems to be bad news. Well, to start off, school has started.  I had to make a speech at freshmen orientation, and that day alone was just stressful.  The first day of school was, well, interesting.  Haha... Anyone who knows about my "accident" would understand why.  And that's stressing me out to no point what-so-ever.  My classes are ok. It goes a little something like this... First period- Art Major III (Eileen and Nicolette are in my class, thank God!). Second period- Gym (Jackie and some other few good people are in there with me also, again, thank God!).  Third period- Studyhall (Haha Eileen is in there with me, again, and again, thank God!). Fourth period-Pro Art I (I don't know whose in that class with me because I haven't started it yet, it used to be a studyhall but since I didn't have enough credits, that's what I got). Fifth period-CP English IV (The class is full of all the jocks and preps from my grade, with a few exceptions, thank God for those exceptions...) Sixth period- AP Psych (I don't really have anything to say about that) Seventh period- Band/Lunch (Two words, good times). Eighth Period- Discrete Math/Prob. Stat. Eh.. not the way I would prefer to end the day but whatev. So, that's my schedule.  It's pretty easy actually.  And yea.. I've been PMSing for what seems like a year now and I don't care if you didn't want to hear that or not it sucks and I want my period, now.  My dog has been sick... I think that was the worst news I've heard all week.  He's been throwing up non-stop and the vet says he could have pancreatitis (sp) or some gastro-something.  And she took x-rays and she saw something a little weird in his stomach, kind of like a tumor, but we don't know yet.  We'll find out on Sunday or Monday, I think.  My mom won't stop crying.  My brother and dad haven't really been showing alot of emotions.  And I, personally, I don't know what to do.  My mind has going a thousand times a minute, non-stop, for the past few days and I just don't know what to do anymore.  Especially these past two days.  Everyone just pray that he'll be ok.  Because all I can do is pray.... I'm going over Eileen's house soon so I must go and start getting ready.  I just want to scream.   [1 ♥ fireflys ]

[05 Sep 2005|12:19pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | Keane- Hopes and Fears ] The last few days of summer have arrived... I'm kind of glad the summer is over though.  I'm excited to go back to school and it seems that alot of other people feel that way also.  There are some things I still didn't get to do.. But all well.. I don't really care.  I think it turned out to be a pretty decent summer. Oh Happy Labor Day everyone!  I'm so excited I don't have to go into work tonight! :  ) I've been feeling alot better since my last journal entry.  I'm happier now, I think I finally figured things out.  Hmmm...  I don't know what to say really.  BBQ at my house today if you want to come. :  ) Ummm.....Yea. This week should be good hopefully! Yea! Wooo!! Alright, I don't want to just start rambling on about nothing.  I'll update sooooon. Peace out. [ fireflys ]

[30 Aug 2005|11:44am] [ mood | blah ] Ok, so I'm feeling a little bit better this morning then I was feeling last night.  Eileen and I talked on the phone for a while.  Had one of those inspirational conversations we have every time we feel horrible about ourselves and life is just getting us down.  And I got to talk to my mom this morning and she made me feel a little better also.  I've come to the conclusion that I need school.  I can't wait for it.  And I know I'm going to regret saying that when it comes and I'm really stressed out.  But, I need something new.  Something to keep my mind off of things.  And I'm hoping that school does that. Today is my little bros' birthday.  He's 15, and I'm starting to feel old.  I'm going out to dinner tonight and Kershaw will probably have a fit that I'm missing the smallest portion of practice.  But I don't really care.  I decided to do band this year to have fun, I didn't decide to join a drum corp. Ugh.. Band stresses me out. Wow... I could sooo start ranting and raving and make a list of all the things that are bothering me right now, but I'm not.  I'll spare you the boredom. I must take my brother to a football meeting now.  Oh goody... I get to spend the next half hour of my life with a bunch of football players! I'll update soon enough.  Maybe when I'm happy again. [1 ♥ fireflys ]

[29 Aug 2005|10:26pm] [ mood | depressed ] Why do I feel like such crap? It seems like everything is bothering me. All I do is just think negative about everything. It's like nothing can make me happy. I got through camp and I thought that would take alot off my shoulders but I guess not. I have sooo many things on my mind now. I'm disgusted with myself and no matter who I talk to about it, they may understand, but it doesn't make me feel any better. I'm one big ball of anxiety. And I hate myself is pretty much what it comes down to. Sorry for such a depressing entry. I can't help but not feel this way for some reason. [ fireflys ]

[28 Aug 2005|11:41pm] [ music | Acceptance- In the Cold ] Who likes the new background?! I like it. It makes me look bad ass. In a dirty, drunk kind of way. Oh and I'm champin' 3 cigars at once. Damn straight. [ fireflys ]

[27 Aug 2005|11:05pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | Fall Out Boy ] WOOO!! Who loves the new background?! That's Helen (on the right) and I (on the left) doing what we do best.  Being assholes.. Hahaha. So Tara, Jackie, and I went down the shore today.  We hit a little bit of rain on the way down but it was actually really nice once we got down their.  We layed on the beach for a bit, then went to lunch on the boardwalk, and then got our palms read again.  I think this was one of the best readings I've ever had.  But yea, I forget what she said.  But I know it was good. Work tomorrow.  Not looking forward to it.  But then again, I haven't worked in literally two weeks straight and I think it's about time I made at least a little bit of money.  The Used in a week and 50 minutes, and school in like, well, soon.  I'm excited believe it or not. Blahhhh.... I thought I'd be happier at this moment in my life.  But I'm not. Damn I hate this feeling.  [ fireflys ]

[27 Aug 2005|12:06am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Acceptance-In the Cold ] Band camp week! Whaaaaaatt?!?!?! Craziest week of my life! Well, I didn't want to go in the first place but I got through it and everything seemed to be ok.  Except the whole lets work 12 hours a day with a two hour rest time and work us tired, sleep deroved, starving children to death.  Yea, awesome week.  There was some bad times.. But also many good ones too. List of some of the wonderful moments at Camp Ramblewood, well, what I can remember: "Camp Ramblewood: ARustic Unique Resort"... No, it's not. Trying to fix Erin's water jug and breaking it even more... and attempting this twice.  Both times with the sam result.. the result being bad...haha. Dance parties. As always. Our "mini" corn run. Shaving cream fight and getting in alot of trouble that night. One word...Erin...and that God for saken camp.. Hahahaha... So freakin good... Helen and Jackie being constipated. Dimitri and I being HXc. Our crazy meal times! Sam and his "Your Mom..." jokes. My senior award being "Most likely to 'Bust a Move'". So many more memories.. Alll of our parents came down on Tuesday and I got to see my Mommy, and Tara was there! Yay! I missed her!! :  ) And I love her new "thing" Dan! ; ) He's a sweety!! Hmmm... So many things going on in my life.  Band being #1! Wooo! Not really.. it kind of sucks this year because they working us way to hard... And it's not as fun.  It's fun, just not as fun as previous years. But all well, I'll get through it. The Ued in like, 1 week and 1 day! Oh shit!! :  ) School in like a week and a half... blah... Bu then I'm kind of excited. Alright, I am really tired and I am going to sleep! I shall update soon!! Peace!   [ fireflys ]

[17 Aug 2005|07:46pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | Fall Out Boy ] Yea, who likes the new background?!  I actually updated a few days ago! But I like it... I just need to switch the scroll bar over to the other side and I'm not really sure how to do that, so if anyone knows how to do that, yea just leave me a comment or let me know if it even can be done..  YEA!! So camp is in like 3 days! WOOO! Yea... not really... Day camp has been successful so far.  I already have skin cancer and am soooo tired... Yea, that usually doens't happen until like the middle of band camp.  Ugghhh... I don't want to go.  Well... nothing really else to say... soooooo.... Peace. [1 ♥ fireflys ]

[14 Aug 2005|10:55am] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | Acceptance-Take Cover ] The summer is slowly coming to an end.  *sigh*... Exactly 3 weeks until The Used! :  ) But, it's just about 3 weeks until school starts too. : ( But, then again, I'm ready for school. It's senior year!!! :  ) Day camp alllllll this week... blah... And Band Camp one week from today... Double blah... I can't wait until these next two weeks are over with... Hmmm... Warped Tour was on Friday.  Haha.. I passed out from the heat and had to go home early because I ended up sick.  And I really was sick too.  I had a little bit of a sore throat that morning.  And I thought maybe I had a fever, but I didn't really think about it.  Yea, yesterday morning (Saturday) I woke up and my entire throat was swollen and it looked really gross, and I couldn't really swallow.  And thank God my neighbor who lives behind us is my doctor so I didn't have to actually go to the doctors office and she got me antibiotics, and I now feel alot better.  Hahaha... Thanks Pete! ;  ) Strept throat is awesome! I also went to a little family BBQ yesterday in West Chester.  Good times with the fam. I <3 them! Good times with the chicks (Tara and Britty) also! Soon enough we will be torn from eachother by a little something called an education.  But, we shall make the times we have together the best we can! Haha... I'm making this sound like we'll never see eachother again.  Jeez... Blahhhhhh.... I have work today. Which sucks.  But then again, I haven't been working at alllll. Haha... I am soooo freakin' poor! And I won't be working at allll for the next like 2 weeks! Jeez.. I suck! Band season is crazy poor times! Alright I must be going.  I shall update asap! Lataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. [2 ♥ fireflys ]

[07 Aug 2005|12:44pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Coldplay-A Rush of Blood.. Yes, I know.. More Coldplay ] I am sooooo bored. I'm actually updating my journal for the second day in a row.  I never update my journal two days in a row.  You know boredom is at a drastic level when I update my journal. Again, in not even 24 hours. Oh man... I wish I had something to do, and lots of money to do it. I have no motivation at all. None what-so-ever. I want to go work out, and I want to clean my room, and I want to clean my car, and I want to do so many things, but there is just no motivation there to do it.  No energy.  I think it's the summer getting me.  I don't care about anything right now.  Nothing.  All I want to do is party and hang out with my friends and have a good time.  But that all I want to do. That isn't me.  Usually I have motivation to do everything.  I don't know what's wrong with me.  Ahhhhh.... Yea, I definitely feel as though the summer is getting to me and the laziness has become a complete habit.  It.s my lifestyle now, and that's all that I'm used to. Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I just psycho? Tara's house was fun last night.  It was Tara, Britt, Jenn (from South Carolina), and Tara's little sister Ariel, and we seriously just sat at her house until like 11 and then decided to go to the diner.  But, we didn't just sit there. Oh no. Things happened in between.  Well, first, when I got there, we weren't sure what to do.  So we ate like all of her food, and then when we were out in the kitchen her dog decided to puke right by the back door.  Yea, we didn't realize she was standing by the door.  Hahaha... and it was huge too.  Yea, pretty gross.  So that took like an hour to clean up because no one wanted to do it.  But we all put a little effort in and cleaned it alllll up. Yea, I champed the last little pile.  Hmmm... Then we called Tara's friend Nick from Philly, talked to him for a bit, and then I decided to put on one of Tara's bras and stuff it to see what I would look like with big boobs.  Hahaha... Oh my God.. Yea, the girls liked that one.  That's when we decided to go out to the diner with my new set of breasts.  Oh man... I had to cover up a little bit though because I saw a few people I knew.  Hahahaha.... Good times, good times.  Then just came home.  Mike had called.  He's having a good time in Vegas.  And yea... Blah... work today. But, I am living at Tara's house for the next 3 days.  Hahaha... Tara, Britty, and me.  This hsould be interesting.  Three days, and a house all to ourselves.  Crazy.  Well I suppose I should be going.  The time to go into work is slowly approaching.  Icccckkkkk.... Peace. [ fireflys ]

[06 Aug 2005|07:32pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | A whole shit load of Coldplay!! It makes me want to orgasm.. ] Well, things have been pretty decent so far. We have about a month until we go back to school. And to be completely honest, I'm actually kind of excited.  I mean don't get me wrong I'm still not done with summer, but when the time comes to go back to school, I think I'll definitely be ready for it. Hmm.. Last night I went to the shore with my cousin, and some of her friends.  Oh man... we had a blast! It was such a good time! I got my palm read. Haha... for the second time in my life.  I'm sorry, but I love getting my palm read, I'm actually really entertained by it.  She said I was going to live a very long life, like past the age of 88. Hahaha... Umm.. I was going to get married at 24, which is also what another psychic told me.  I was going to have three kids.  And I'm going to have two men in my life that are going to be significant in my life before I get married.  One from the past, and one (this of course all taking place in the future) from the present. She suggested the one from the present future.  I was going to have some problems in the beginning of my marrige, but she said nothing that I can't get through on my own.  She sees one guy and one guy only, no divorces.  Oh and I was going to be with this man for 4-5 years, 2 1/2 of those years being engagement.  Hmmm... she said I was a very independent person, and I don't like to date.  I'm just not the kind of person to be able to go from relationship to relationship, and I take that very serious. Which explains the whole, "not sure if I'm ready to date or not yet" problem I've been having for the longest time now.  Wow.. The world makes sense again! She said I tend to rush things and I need to learn how to take one day at a time.  Which is also another problem I've been having.  I've been pondering about it alot.  Crazy... Hmmm... She said I've been hurt/dissapointed in the past.  And it happened about a year and a half ago.  Hmm.. I couldn't imagine what that could be... In conclusion, I'm going to have a pretty sweet life.  Cool. So, we didn't get home until 2:30 this morning.  But every moment, was incredible.  Last night is what summer is allllll about baby... : ) Hmm... I woke up this morning and went to Cowtown with Britty and Tara. Hahaha.. we got a little lost. But it was a journey, and any journey with your two best friends is a journey not forgotten.  Oh, Happy Birthday Kim! I looooovvvveeee yoooouuuu!!! :  ) Yay for being 19! Only two more years until the really exciting age! Hahaha.. "I mean honestly, what's so good about the age 19 anyway?" Haha.. After the journey to Cowtown, I went to my cousins for a little BBQ action.  This is my cousin on my dads side by the way. I apologize for any cousin confusion. He's leaving for the army in 4 days to become an army ranger.  *sigh*... I'm so scared and nervous for him.  He has so much courage.  I envy him. But I shall miss him. : ( Hmmm.. what else is going on in my life?... Warped Tour next Friday! : ) And The Used in less then a month!! Double ~>  : )! Michael is in Las Vegas. I hate him (Haha..not really, that's a hair bit of jealousy spilling out). I wish I was rich and able to go on trips, and live in a big house, and have a nice car like he can. But at the same time I miss him, and I'm happy with my life.. Haha. But in a week I shall be able to see him and hear all the drunken stories I'm sure he'll have to tell me! Hahaha... I like drunken stories. Eh.. things are a little confusing at the moment.  But, this is the worst part of growing up I suoppose. Whatever, I'll get through. Now to Tara's house for some more BFF action. Until next time. Chao. [2 ♥ fireflys ]

[05 Aug 2005|12:31am] [ mood | hyper ] [ music | That's the Way, Uh-huh Uh-huh, I like it... ] So... Things have been swell, I suppose. It's 12:30 and I am over the one and only Michael Royer's house at the moment.  Yea, don't ask me why.  Just am.. .Hahaha.. The pageant was tonight and I was a a chaperone.  Yea... I am never doing that again.  I had to be there at 5:30 and didn't get out until 11:30.  Yea, it sucked.  But Jackie and her little sister won and thats all that matters. I am so happy for them.  Yea... That's all I care or am really happy about.  Hmmm... Work for 8 hours tomorrow, and then down to Wildwood with my cousin and some friends for her birthday.  That should be good times.  Oh man so many things planned for the rest of the summer.  And so many things have been going on... OH MY GOD!!!  I am sooooo hyper right nowwwwww!!! HAHAHAHA!!! I SHALL UPDATE SOON!!!! LATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [ fireflys ]

[31 Jul 2005|12:30pm] [ mood | numb ] Long time, no update. I've been so busy lately. Between band, work, friends. Everything seems like it is going crazy.  I went down the beach for the first time yesterday to visit "The Tates".. a.k.a- The Catash.  Long line of very close family friends. We visit them every year, and I must say I enjoy the trip every time too.  Put a bunch of Italians in one place with lots of alcohol, and enough food to feed three armys, and believe me, you have a good time. Lately, I honestly don't know what to do with myself.  My thoughts have been running wild, and I don't know where to place them. I feel like something is missing.  Something isn't right.  But, at the same time, I'm just down right confused.  I've kind of been turned in a different direction and I don't know how to handle it I guess you can say.  I see alot of people I didn't think I would see alot of and the people I used to see alot of, aren't really in the picture anymore.  I wish I still felt the same way about them but I just don't for some reason.  I wish you could still call me a close friend, but I guess you can't.  I'm sorry. I have lots of things planned for the month of August. It shall be a full package of fun.  We shall see what it brings.  Other then that, I don't have much to say.  I'm out. Peace. ; ) [4 ♥ fireflys ]

[14 Jul 2005|11:01am] [ mood | okay ] Long time, no update. Things have been crazzzzzzzzzyyyy. Band has officially started. Things are going well so far. (*knock on wood*). Hmmm... work is work. Friends are doing well. Partying as usual. Good times. I hope everyone likes my new background. Hahaha.. That's Jackie and I being kick ass. I <3 my crew!! TARA GOT HER LICENSE!!! ...(finally)...; ) All of us seem to have found a man! : ) And I DO NOT have a "B" word yet! So everyone juat chill.. haha. He's in Florida! Jeez.. But Mike, it was nice watching Disney movies last night! My mom thought I was crazy when she found the box this morning... lol. All well. I'm used to that reaction. I still haven't made it down the shore yet this summer. But I will make it soon! Alright I'm out! Peace! [3 ♥ fireflys ]

[03 Jul 2005|09:37pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | Coldplay-X &Y ] Fucking last night was good.  This week should be full of partying. : ) Yay! Jackie I love you! If you need anything, I'm here. "...Guys, no words, just emotions right now, alright?..."  -Tom Smith drunk at 5 o'clock in the morning. Uggghhhh.... I am soooo sleep deprived. [ fireflys ]

[01 Jul 2005|01:28am] [ mood | hyper ] [ music | Hawthorne Heights-Speeding Up the Octaves ] Summer has definitely been crazy so far! Oh man... It's been a while since I last updated... So much has happened! Hmmm... Well, I can remember back to the Relay for Life, so I'll start there.  So yea, the Relay for Life was awesome.  Staying up all night raising money for cancer! We had such a blast! Then the next day I had graduation parties and what not to go to.  I met a guy named Mike at my cousins party, and he called my house to get my number. Haha.. yea... But I don't think anything is going to happen.  Especially because he left for Florida today. So yeaaa... Hmm.. I've been working a whole lot.  My next pay check should be super! : ) Ummm... Nothing else exciting I suppose.  Hanging out with my cousin every day working out, and hanging out with all of my friends.  And I start volunteering at the hospital soon.  I'm working at a Children's "special" institute center thing.  It should be cool. The summer is treating me well so far.  APEX rifle clinic is super awesome.  I looooove spinning rifle.  It's amazing... : ) Katie is our new "Lt." Ummm... Still not sure how I feel about that one.  Jamie, Britty, Tara and I all hung out tonight.  I had work until 10.  But I called Britty and Jamie picked up. They came over ma house and we decided to go to Colonial where a whole bunch of people were.  And after we stole a roll of paper towels from the bathroom and we were going to give it to this homeless guy on Broad St., "Swamp Man"... Hahaha... Oh man... Well, we fed him last night.  Britty, Eileen, and I. Yea, we felt so bad for him.  And tonight we actually got a pillow from Britty's and Tara and I were sooo shady and we put it next to his shopping kart full of shit when he was sleeping on the bench at the bus stop. Hahahaha... Oh my God... It was hilarious.  Then we just drove around and did what we did back in the day, scream The Used at the top of lungs and just be obnoxious.  *sigh*... Crazy... I love it. HOLY CRAP!! I still have so much I want to do this summer. I need to visit colleges like WOAH! I need to get drunk and paint with Eileen.  I need to just get drunk in general.  I need to start taking those random shore trips I said I would take with all of my friends. I need to be making lots more money. I need to have that camp out in my back yard.  I need to make out with those three people I said I would. (Haha... Eileen...) AHHHH!!!! So much to do! And once band starts... Oh my God, I have like no time what-so-ever. OH SHIT!!! And I soooooo forgot like the most important thing thats happened to me allll summer! I went to da club for the first time in my life!! Oh my God... that was honestly the craziest experience of my entire life! Sarah Carter, Britty, and I all got gang banged by a bunch of black guys, and there were Puerto Ricans like all over the place! And some of the sluttiest things I've ever seen in my entire life! And it was foam night!! OOOOHHHH SHHHIIIIITTTT!! People were like making out with foam all over there face and shit... It was definitely the grossest thing I've seen in a while! And we're going back to 80's night next week!! Hahaha... WOOO!!! But! I shall update soon and I will start crossing things off this list! It will make my summer complete!! I hope everyone elses summer is going swell!!! Lataaaaaaaaaaa!! : )   ...and I can make it on my own... [2 ♥ fireflys ]

[21 Jun 2005|08:26am] [ mood | frustrated ] Summer has been pretty awesome so far.  Graduation wasn't sad. I was more happy for everyone then I was sad.  I said I wasn't going to cry and I didn't. I'm a senior now though! :  ) Yay!!! Tara's graduation party was of the hook!! Oh man.. very good drunken night. So many things happened I don't even know where to start! So I'm not. Haha... But Brandon's was fun too.  I love Chris Wolff. I hope he gets out of the hospital soon. <33 Hmmm... Marching band alllll day to day.  It's the big kick-off day. Volunteer Orientation at the hospital this morning.  Blah. Then band this afternoon until 4.  Then APEX Rifle Clinic in Delaware tonight until 9.  A day full of color guard! WOOOO!!!... yea... So, other things have been going ok I suppose.  Lots of things planned for this summer. I hope it lives up to it's expectations.   [2 ♥ fireflys ]

[16 Jun 2005|05:19pm] [ mood | gloomy ] I haven't updated in a while. Oh and the new background is dedicated to Eileen. Hm.. So nothing new. My friends are all leaving, I'm peeling from ridiculous amount of sunburn I got, and I still have one more day of school left. Things seem like they're a mess. Not a bad mess necessarily, just everything is jumbled up.  Loser night festivities tonight should make that all go away. I hope summer is going to be good. [ fireflys ]

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